Philippa Perry

Books Karolina Sutton, +44 (0)20 7393 4428 Email Karolina Sutton

The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)

book | 2019

Every parent wants their child to be happy and every parent wants to avoid screwing them up. But how do you achieve that?

In this absorbing, clever and funny book, renowned psychotherapist Philippa Perry tells us what really matters and what behaviour it is important to avoid - the vital dos and don'ts of parenting.

Instead of mapping out the 'perfect' plan, Perry offers a big-picture look at the elements that lead to good parent-child relationships. This refreshing, judgement-free guide will help you to:

· Understand how your own upbringing may affect your parenting
· Accept that you will make mistakes and learn what you can do about them
· Break negative cycles and patterns 
· Handle your own and your child's feelings
· Understand what different behaviours communicate

Full of sage and sane advice, this is the book that every parent will want to read and every child will wish their parents had.


This book is guidance on how to bond with your children based on understanding how your upbringing affects your parenting.

Lorraine Candy, Sunday Times

If you're determinedly not a self-help kind of reader (like me), make an exception for [this book]. And if you're not a parent, don't dismiss it. The message is one of non-judgmental kindness. The sophisticated psychoanalytical version of my "count to ten and then say something kind" advice to my kids (and myself) when things start to fall apart.


Perry’s method is all about creating and improving your connection with your children, from pregnancy to adulthood.

Red Magazine

It is compassionately and lyrically written, but it’s not a passive read... Most comforting are the repeated reassurances in this book not to despair if you feel your parenting doesn’t measure up. Most things can be fixed.


It is like a letter from a wise friend who happens to have done years of research, and – in this culture that will teach you how to take a good selfie but not how to nurture a healthy relationship – can feel like water on a parched plain. Which is perhaps one of the reasons it has spent months on the bestseller list. . . it prompts so many realisations, or insights, or clearly names things that have until now existed just beyond one’s awareness. And it provides tools, straightforward and manageable if not always easy, that can be implemented at once. I am grateful for it.


Not got kids? It doesn’t matter, as the wonderful psychotherapist Philippa Perry’s latest book is actually about using our pasts to understand ourselves and how we react to situations that test our patience and emotions. She explains that these sharp reactions might well be down to what happened in our childhoods – and the flashpoints that these emotions can stir up makes for fascinating reading whether you’re actively parenting or not. It’s also an excellent book for reminding yourself: life is hard and you’re doing your best – so try not to beat yourself up for everyday mistakes.

Stylist Magazine

EVERY parent should read this book, however old their child. In fact, any adult in a relationship should read it too. Distilled in less than 250 pages is a road map to healthy relationships. Required reading.

Daily Express

A beautifully comprehensive look at what it might mean to be a sane and emotionally intelligent parent; hugely warm, wise, hopeful and encouraging that, with a little self-reflection and insight, we could all learn to spare the next generation a few of our own troubles.

Alain de Botton

[A] refreshing approach ... This is a kind and forgiving book that advocates kind and forgiving behaviour, to ourselves and our partners.

Cathy Rentzenbrink, The Times